That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
