I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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