It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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