worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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