dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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