She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
