I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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