Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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