I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
