So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I have post one night stand depression
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