I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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