He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
