You're so nebulous sometimes
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
