The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
