He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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