he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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