ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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