our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
