i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
