Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
