he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
