how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
