fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
