if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
