You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
