Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
