guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think I died a long time ago.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
