if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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