you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
