have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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