Quick, to the slutcave!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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