I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
