Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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