whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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