he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
