actually, I'm a sock model
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
