We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
