I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
