just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
