so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
