i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
