omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
