I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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