I can tuck mytits in my pants
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
