Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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