hell yes lets make some ravioli
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
