You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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