I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
