just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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