You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
