she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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