You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
