My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Randomize
