Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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