Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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