She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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