...so i touched it.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
