didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
she told me i tasted like america
Did I show you my penis last night?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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