The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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