so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
