Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
