Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
