I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
