Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
