Having a random hookup so left but love u
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Randomize
