so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
