ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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