She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
