Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
