so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
