I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
