Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
