Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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