So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize